A couple of years ago, just before Christmas, I read an article by a lady in Dublin who was a Barrister who had hosted a family through Helping Irish Hosts (HIH). Her life and home was very similar to ours and she talked about how positive an experience it was for all of them. I came home and shared it with my husband and we thought that it sounded like something that would be great for us also.
We attended a webinar with HIH and went through the checklist of what to have ready but it was really when our guests, Maryna and Sasha arrived on the first day – exhausted and terrified with just one wheelie bag between them – and the taxi driver dropped them off, shaking his head, said “They don’t have a word of English!” ,that we realised how vulnerable they were. Maryna and Sasha came from a village called Trostynets near the Russian border.
Maryna’s husband had been badly injured so leaving him behind and even talking about it was hard for them. We helped set them set up with school, our doctor agreed to take them on, and we helped with the general admin of moving home. We soon settled into a good routine. They cooked for themselves during the week and we ate together at the weekend and we generally invited them to join us with whatever we were doing at the weekend. They really enjoyed going to church in Delgany and found it very peaceful, a one hour service with seats was a bit of a shock for them coming from a service that could go on for several hours with no seats.
Maryna has a wonderful sense of humour and is up for anything so we went sea swimming throughout the summer, took the boys on their bikes and scooters and did a few trips to the zoo. There were a few things that helped hugely. Maryna was really particular about the house and was great at helping in the garden; the “Say Hi” app made communication easy in the early days; taking the advice from HIH to nip problems in the bud by talking about issues bluntly as soon as they happen; having a drink together at the end of the week and chatting about the week that was in Ukraine and also for us.
They shared our home with us for just under a year.
We were really clear about what would work best for us and we hoped for our guests. So we ideally wanted a woman around our age with a boy similar in age to our son. We were lucky that Maryna and Sasha lived in a semi-rural location like us so they were comfortable not being in a city and were happy to walk to school and to the bus. Thinking about what would suit your family and your home is really important. Using the home-share agreement that HIH provides is a good idea to set out your expectations. Getting a translation app for the first few months is really useful at a time when guests may have little English. HIH will help without hesitation when it comes to the time for your guests to move on and when we had family coming from the States who needed to stay with us for a few months, it was time to look for a new home for Maryna and Sasha. HIH found them a lovely home in Athy where they are really happy and we go out to see them every few weeks and Maryna and I exchange news while the boys run off together to the park!
The experience was overwhelmingly positive for us. It was particularly good for our son who is an only child. He learned quickly how to share for more than a few hours; he grew to understand what was happening in the world beyond our house; and whose empathy grew hugely as he saw birthdays and Christmas pass for Sasha with no dad to celebrate with. We are forever grateful to Sasha and Maryna for working so hard to fit in to our family and for being such lovely housemates.
We found it to be a great experience, we had great fun with the boys; it was lovely to have another person in the house to help when a crisis struck; we learnt a lot about Ukraine, the culture and food and Maryna had a medical background so I got wonderful neck massages when I seized up! We were all fairly similar so it was really very easy. There was no time when we said it was a bad idea and lots of times when we knew without a doubt that it was a great one.
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